5 Places NOT to Concentrate on Writing

For me, what to write is not as difficult a question as where to write. As I mentioned in a previous post, ideas come at me fairly quickly. Bam: Drunken fairies. Bam: What if badgers could drive? Bam: Maintenance man for a haunted elevator. When well-rested, the stream is almost constant and provides a lot of self-entertaining notions that make for fun quotes and terrible stories.

The downside to this flow of ideas is that I am easily distracted. Each interruption feels as if someone else is reaching over and typing while I was still using the keyboard. It is a major fault of mine and probably something that should be checked out by a professional. However, merely typing that sentence sounds expensive and time consuming and there is a great story about badgers I need to write. 

Although I have gotten better, writing still requires almost total silence. Music, voices, even movement are impediments I seek to eliminate whenever possible so I can be at my most productive. Another element is solitude. It is useful to be alone not only to permit greater mental freedom but also so that a thought need not be rushed an can be followed to its natural successor. 

This means that, in many cases, home has not been the ideal working environment. Even for those who can afford to banish the rest of the world from a 200-400sf space, that does not mean it will be quiet. And interruptions within the home environment are particularly upsetting. Even small incursions deflect my mind in a dozen directions. Effort must then be spent returning to my previous thought and then suppressing those others which have come in.

For this reason, finding spaces to write have been essential to me over the years. Like anyone, I’ve tried some that other people seem to find productive or enjoy. These were less than ideal for reasons I’ll detail below.

I’ve also found some wonderful places, which I will submit later this week -- including my all-time favorite – one so wonderful I will suggest but not reveal its actual location  

First, the criteria. A good place needs to have near silence. No talking, no white-noise, nothing more than the soft hum of a lamp. There cannot be visual distractions, nor physical motion around me. There cannot be attractive people, or even potentially attractive people. Smells are less of a concern, but airflow and temperature should also be constant.

For one or more of the above reasons, here are 5 places that do not help me write. As always, feel free to disagree. Just keep it down:

1. Book store – Although this seems sensible on the surface, A book store large enough to have a place to sit for a while just doesn't work for me. They are bad places to write and good places to be seen writing. And one must try to avoid the passive voice. 

I do want you to go to book stores. Go often. Spend money. It is merely that the idea of being around hyper-successful authors is rather daunting for me. Writing in that environment is a bit like attending a cooking class in a five-star restaurant. 

“I know you can make food, Julia. There is an entire building devoted to you making food. I cannot make food. Being here is not helping me correct that. ...where is the wine?” 

At least fancy restaurant kitchens don’t have children wandering around playing tag, or barcode scanners, or sounds of mishandled espresso machines in the background. Speaking of which…

2. Coffee Shops – The notion is again sensible: an environment, full of rich odors which attracts interesting, diverse, people and stimulates all your senses is a natural location to go for inspiration. ...Unless your shop is like Coffee of Doom. 

To those of us seeking solitude and quiet a coffee shop is a chaotic, noisy, non-GMO meat market. Again, a great place to be seen, but rather unproductive for those who prefer quiet.
Please don’t think I suggest you should not enjoy them for the reasons above. In fact, you should go now and finish reading this there. I suspect that coffee shops may soon kill their golden goose somehow, possibly by charging a cover.

3. Restaurants – Writing in restaurants was actually something I used to do. Many restaurants – especially during slow times – don’t mind (paying) patrons lingering inside. A focused writer takes up a smaller table, generates some revenue, and makes the place look popular despite the Yelp reviews.
The problem with writing that is that the staff jitter about like horses in a starting gate, talking in trivialities, performing noisy little rituals they are barely aware of anymore. Unless you are writing a story about being a chef, there is not much concentration to be had.

4. Roofs and Roof Decks – Another of my less-than-brilliant ideas, the roof of a building seems like a reasonable haven for those living in urban environments -- or anywhere the roof slope is not likely to send you sliding into the landscaping. 

However, the same charm that secluded space held when you were enjoying a bottle of wine, becomes less conducive to sober concentration. Between HVAC equipment, helicopters, tar fumes, and pigeons quietly chuckling at you, don’t expect to get much done if you need quiet.

I swear, these birds are aiming for the canvas.

5. Nature – Ah, the great outdoors. Equipped with a car or a bicycle and some serious calf muscles, you can take yourself far away, to a place where the sun shines, gentle breezes blow, and distracting people are left far away. You know who else knows this? Every other creature on Earth.

Yes, there’s a reason animals like the wilderness and they are determined to keep it that way by driving people out. Birds fly around screaming to one another, bugs constantly fly into your orifices, and the wind causes an allergic reaction while blowing clouds in and out of your light. Nothing made me appreciate the en plein air movement like working outdoors for a few hours. It certainly made me see why living in a dark cave with low light was so appealing to our ancestors.

Assuming I can find some quiet space and time to write, I’ll detail some of my 5 Favorite Places to concentrateand write later this week!